WNF? (Why Not Facebook?)

Okay, so I built myself a website, I'm starting a blog, I Twitter, but I'm not on Facebook. What's up with that, right?

I gave this a good deal of thought as I was caving to creating an online presence. For the record, I don't mean to sound snarky when I say caving to creating an online presence. I am a busy mom with a full-time job. I write novels in my spare time. Sometimes I garden and very occasionally, I cook supper for my husband. Finding time to blog, twitter or maintain a website means one less roast in the oven and one more pot of those weird three-cheese rubber tortellini things that beg you to believe they're fresh, but have a best before date after my next birthday.

However, selling anything requires a storefront of some variety and I don't blame editors and agents for taking a peek into mine. Is it full of dust? Stocked with anything? Does anyone else shop there?

They like to see a following of some kind and I know I could build a quick one through friends and family already on Facebook, but therein lies my conundrum.

See, I'm trying to create a presence for my professional self, among other publishing professionals and eventually readers. I trust that virtually all of them are Very Nice People. All of my friends and family are Very Nice People. Therefore, they should all play nicely in the same Facebook sandbox, yes?

No. If I were to start on Facebook, my intimates would expect details of my life such as they've come to find in my annual Christmas letter. Photos. Anecdotes about the children and extended family. Shout outs about their summer visit to my home. But eventually someone in Arkansas (Still Very Nice) whom none of us knew, would be reading about my sister-in-law or cousin's wife's neighbor or one of my friend's horrendous parenting moments (a little thing we like to call Mother of the Year.) And happy as I am to make the acquaintance with all of Arkansas if they care to drop by and say hello, it's not my place to broadcast gossip, mistakes and humiliations of friends and family to that fine state without explicit permission by said friends and family to do so.

So, to all the current recipients of my annual Christmas letter: No, I will not be your friend on Facebook. I don't have time to do that and blog here at the same time. Yes, I expect you to add this to your RSS feed, read it and comment periodically. It would be nice if you signed a small waiver so I might refer to you in the occasional post by name. Note that if you misbehave and write anything rude in my comments section, I will refer to you by name before striking you from my Christmas List. I am so serious.

I'm not on Facebook. Get over it. On the bright side, all of you who are on Facebook can talk freely behind my back. Enjoy.


  1. Dani,
    Visiting from the PRO-loop.

    Go you on getting the blog set up! For the record, my husband and I are both online...myspace, FB, Twitter, etc. But no where will you EVER see our son's photos, his name or anything other than something vague. We're all about security. I have FB page and a fan page. I'm trying to learn how to keep them separate. It's a process. AND, learning how to automate them!

    Please don't strike me from your xmas list :)


Post a Comment