Why I'm Qualified To Offer Advice
Didn't you read my blog on horoscopes?
So I resisted blogging for a long time, mostly because I feared I wouldn't have anything to say. As it turns out, there's plenty of nonsense in me willing to spew onto the page. However, in my fear of having nothing to say, I began to conceive of starting an advice column. In the end, it seemed like too huge an undertaking to do it formally, however, I still like the idea of developing a dynamic, interactive conversation with my readers and offering up seed-like pearls of wisdom on any topic you might care to hit me with. What the heck. I've got a sense of humor. This could be fun.
Disclaimer: I am not an expert in anything except telling people what to do. Typically I boss around immediate family especially siblings because my kids sure don't listen to anything I say. I am a wife, mother, daughter and sister--practically a crone. I live a relatively charmed life, but recognize that many don't. I try not to judge when people screw up since there but for the grace of God go I, usually. I'm easy to talk to. I try to be nice because being nice seems the nice thing to do. I will not mock you unless I think you're mocking me. If you want to email me privately, do so.
I will take questions on any subject that doesn't require a lot of research to answer, although I could probably enlist hubby to dig up some insight on undiagnosed medical issues or how to compost without attracting bears.
Here's a sample to get things started:
- If your daughter won't clean her room, don't take her to her friend's until she does, even though the house would be more peaceful if you did.
- Being professional means keeping your ears open and your mouth shut.
- Life is never perfect. Sometimes you get to stand on a mountaintop and enjoy the view, but your feet still hurt and you still have to descend. Concentrate on the view.
- Gardening will grow on you.
- Don't gossip about your kids unless they're driving you crazy when you're trying to blog (Kids, we've talked about this: fire or deadly bleed. Famine doesn't count. You both know how to make mac and cheese.)
- Even if something is scary, do it. I'm scared to start a blog. Probably no one will show up to this particular Tupperware party, but I'm hosting it anyway because somewhere, someone has been meaning to replace a lid.
- Multi-tasking is over-rated. One at a time is good fishing.
- When you want to frighten your husband out of your writing room, ask him for at least two items for a list of advice you're composing. He’ll move toward the door.
- Be specific about originality, or he'll only come up with "One at a time is good fishing" lameness.
- Don't laugh when he says, with absolute sincerity, "Always do your stretches."